The Evolution of Her

There have been so many times in my life where I’ve just felt completely stuck.  I see my friends get married, start families, and watch their children grow.  All of a sudden we’re celebrating Elsa’s 5th birthday and I’m relegated to the Ninja Turtle face painting station.  I love my friends.  That phrase about “friends being the family you choose” is so true for me.  I love seeing them happy, I love seeing their lives develop, and I love being a part of it.  

If I’m honest and I’m sharing all my Wildly Imperfect parts, well then I must admit that the more I see them grow the more I see myself as stuck because I haven’t done what they’re doing.  I’m standing at the airport and they’re off on this wonderful journey.  How can you avoid comparison when someone is moving and you’re standing still? 

And if we dig a little bit deeper where do these comparisons even come from?  Why is that we think we should be reaching the same life milestones as our friends and at the same time they’re reaching them.  

Enter my great friend, Heather Stanislaus, and her amazing book, The Evolution of Her.

Image source:

Image source:

Described as “a thought-provoking, contemporary look at how women can live the lives they want instead of following society’s prescriptive life plan.”

You can read about Heather's background on her website, but I want to dive right into the book.  

As you might have gathered from my last book review, I’m very much a big picture thinker.  Grab me with the big idea and I’m in. So what I loved about this book is the aha moment of understanding where these life milestones even came from.  Or even just being able to question where they came from is huge.  

The simple reframe of looking at your life versus what your life would be like if you were born in a different country, with a different religion, or even a different income level is very intriguing.  Would there be the same expectations?  Probably not.  

This is the heart of the book.  Because if your expectations were basically chosen for you based on your parents circumstance when you were born, then why not switch it up.  Take control.  You can choose you path and you can put all that pressure to the side.  As Heather’s website states “there is no single defined path to a fulfilling life.”  

Let that sink in “there is no single defined path to a fulfilling life.”  Breathe in for 5 and out for 5 and repeat :)

In the meantime, watch this incredible video:  

Then come back here and let me know if any of Heather’s story resonated with you and how you might have seen this play out in your life.