Why I'm Learning to Feel My Feelings
“If I surround myself with positive things, I’ll gain prosperity” - Destiny’s Child
One of the amazing things about being on a spiritual journey is learning that life doesn’t have to suck. That you don’t have to settle for a mundane life filled with people who don’t see your inner rockstar. You’re in the driver’s seat and you get to kick all the negativity to the curb.
- Choose happiness.
- Be the light.
- Life is beautiful.
- Be the beauty you wish to see in the world.
- Let it go.
But sometimes all of this is wrong. It’s just bad advice.
Why? Because as I’m learning, you’ve got to make time to feel your feelings. Only then can you truly move on.
Since June, my spiritual journey has moved into the fast lane. I’ve had a lot of flash backs into my childhood and they’ve brought up a lot of negative feelings. And since the Universe is amazing at bringing us the lessons we need, I’ve had new conflicts with my family which has the power of bringing me back to the feeling of worthlessness I felt as a child.
My life coach told me I needed to feel the feelings and I’ve resisted because who wants to spend their nights and weekends in a negative space? My job is stressful enough without knowing I’m going to come home and continue to feel terrible.
But this is where the work is.
Today, I took a vacation day. I just needed a break from work and with the end of summer quickly approaching, all I wanted was a beach day where I could sleep in and not worry about traffic and crowds.
While getting ready for the beach, I received a few text messages that I felt were unsupportive and then the feeling of the feelings began. Tears streamed down my freshly applied sunscreen and I was pissed for these feelings ruining my day. But I'm stubborn and was determined to have my day in the sun. I got to the beach, found my place in the sand, and the tears decided to keep flowing. And I let them.
It wasn’t a perfect start to a vacation day. The tears didn’t last too long. My eyes were all sorts of puffy and I felt raw and open. But I was willing to be sad and feel the feelings if that meant that the rest of the weekend, and the rest of my life, is going to be that much better.
Destiny’s child isn’t completely wrong. Surrounding yourself with positivity is a radical self-care move. Just don’t be fake about it. Be true to yourself. Feel those feelings and then all that positivity will feel that much more amazing.
Good night, Wild Things!