Stop Looking for Reasons to Doubt Yourself

Earlier this month, there was an assignment due for my mastermind.  It wasn’t a required assignment but its completion gave access to some additional bonus content.  So of course the majority of the group took on the challenge. 

A few people were overwhelmed and sometimes triggered by the assignment, for a variety reasons that aren’t totally relevant to this story.  The point is that they were stressed and I wasn’t.  I wondered if I was missing something.  I really wanted access to that bonus content and so I didn’t want to find out I did the assignment incorrectly or didn’t take it seriously enough.    

On the first coaching call following the submission of the homework, the topic was announced to focus on the stresses and the triggers of the doing the homework.  So now I was really confused.  I wasn’t stressed or triggered by the homework.  Clearly I missed something, I thought.  How did I screw this up?  This mastermind was important to me and I wanted to make sure I was getting the most out of the process. 

I raised my hand to ask my question.  “What did I do wrong?  Why am I not stressed or triggered?”

The coach responded “Heidi, stop looking for reasons to doubt yourself.” 

Oh!  So simple.  I was immediately aware of my perfectionist tendencies and more so the frequency of which I compare myself to others.  Typically when I compared myself to others it was to ask why I was not as good/smart/beautiful/awesome as that person.  Somehow this has developed to the other side of the spectrum by wondering why I was not as stressed as this person.  I was using other people to calibrate my emotions and it was costing me the experience of feeling great about myself.  

Then it happened again.  

In one of my entrepreneur groups, a money coach was graciously offering free sessions.  It seemed like each person that had a session was immediately posting rave reviews.  I was intrigued and signed up for my free session.  I didn’t think I had money issues, sure my student loans are stressful, but I felt like for the most part I’m doing pretty good for myself. And that’s exactly what the Money Coach confirmed! 

Because everyone in the group was having money issues, I assumed that I had them too.  Only a few weeks later I was once again looking for reasons to doubt myself.  Where were my money issues?  I surely must have them! 

Ok ok Universe, I’m listening!  

Are you? 

There is so much stress and negativity in the world.  There’s no reason to go looking for it inside.  From now on, when we feel good about something let’s simply sit with that feeling.   

Let’s stop looking for reasons to doubt ourselves and instead CELEBRATE ourselves and feel the JOY!