3 Reasons Why I'm No Longer Interested In Spirituality
Those of you that have been with me since the start (2015!) know that this blog, like Bob’s Burgers, has undergone many re-openings.
It’s hard for me to separate the evolution of my branding efforts from the evolution of my spirituality. I was having many A-ha moments and I wanted this blog and its branding to reflect this new person I was becoming.
However, it’s actually not at all who I was becoming. Instead I was becoming the person that other people in the spiritual community expected me to be or needed me to be…for them. It wasn’t about me at all.
Now don’t get me wrong. Spirituality has taught me a LOT. I am very thankful for the eye-opening wisdom from Gabby Bernstein’s Spirit Junkie that showed me I was treating my career like some clingy ex-girlfriend. And before I worked with Mastin Kipp, I thought the only emotions were happy, angry, and sad. I distinctly remember asking him if there was some sort of list I could memorize!
I’ve met so many people, traveled to cool places, and learned lots of great techniques about self-love, mindset, and coping with anxiety/stress.
BUT…with all that said, I’m no longer interested in being “Spiritual” for the following 3 reasons.
1. It’s All About The Sales Funnel
If you’re not familiar with a sales funnel it’s basically a marketing process for getting people into the door and ultimately getting them to make a purchase (google to learn more).
Many of these so-called Spiritual Teachers do not care about you as an individual. They care about their income. They care about how to make more money from you. They care about paying their bills. Sure, what they’re teaching you may bring them joy and may help you in the short-term but it is ultimately not about that.
I had a coach who I thought was amazing and took almost all their courses. But when all was said and done I had certainly learned a whole lot but still didn’t feel better about myself. They had nothing left to sell me so they started deflecting my questions to less qualified people on their team. At the same time, they were certainly willing to use me for free testimonials to add more people into their sales funnel.
And the contracts, oh my god the contracts. Listen, I get that if you’re in a long-term business relationship with someone you want to make sure you get paid. But that’s typically in a situation where you’re paying a lot of your own money upfront. For example, constructing an apartment building or manufacturing a clothing line. But if someone is just giving their time, then there is no need to have a contract. The need is ultimately to make sure they have an income.
Imagine if someone’s business model was to cure you quickly and send you on your way? Not in the spiritual world. I believe it was Dr. Phil who said he got in trouble for this very thing. He was too frank with his patients, telling them what was wrong on the first visit. This does not happen in the spiritual world. Why? Because most people spend the majority of their training on sales and marketing courses. They are not properly trained for this type of work…which leads me to #2.
2. No Proper Training
I was working with one coach who was always telling me to go for a walk. I’m stressed about this. Go for a walk. I can’t stop thinking about this mean thing someone said to me. Go for a walk. Finally, I confronted them about it. The response was that I didn’t do a good enough job explaining the problem if I needed a more serious recommendation than taking a walk. Huh?
Of all the different coaches that I had, at no point did anyone recommend to me that maybe I needed to see a mental health professional. In fact it’s in the contract that they are definitely not a mental health professional. But they certainly don’t even know when to refer you to one. After all, it might affect their income.
These teachers are also not proper teachers. They don’t understand different learning styles. I had one teacher that would always take questions on a first come first serve basis which certainly makes sense in a large group setting, which this was not. But someone like me who takes more time to digest the material would think of questions to ask towards the end of the class and was therefore rarely called on. The “teacher” told me that I needed to learn to speak up faster.
3. Cookie Cutter Expectations
When you enter the spiritual world there is a limited view of what happiness looks like.
Hate your job? Then you must become an entrepreneur. And oh by the way there’s a class you can pay for that will teach you how to make 6 figures a month. <Insert MASSIVE eye roll>.
There’s no part about learning to love yourself despite the fact that you have a crappy job. There’s no room for the fact that maybe you need the job so you can have a steady income to meet financial commitments. There’s certainly no room to lean in and love that part of you that dissolves into the couch at the end of the work day and devours Netflix.
Now I get it. There are some instances that require immediate change including domestic violence or sexual harassment to name two. But even still the decisions and the necessary precautions take time. And someone shouldn’t have to wait on the outskirts of the community until they make said change. The pressure to all of a sudden become someone you’re not is just so intense. It just doesn’t work like that. This is not a 30 minute sitcom.
You must go outside. You must ground yourself with your barefeet in the soil. You certainly cannot imagine eating sugar.
Side story: I was once at a seminar where a Spiritual Leader was constantly proclaiming how they didn’t eat sugar and how much more energy they had and how amazing life was because of no sugar. On Day 2, the same person shared that they had a burger for dinner with tons of ketchup because teaching takes so much energy out of them. Know what’s in ketchup? Sugar. But that person was for sure still claiming that they’ve been sugar free for 500 days.
You must always be happy. You must do yoga. You must never be irritated.
I know I sound super jaded right now. And no nothing scandalous happened to make me take this leap. It’s just been a serious of events over time that have made me say something is not right.
Like I said at the beginning, I am SUPER thankful for all that I’ve learned and how far I’ve come. And there are certainly some amazing teachers, coaches, and leaders out there.
But I’m vowing not to pay for another course or sign up for another course through at least 2020. I’ve started working with a mental health professional and a career counselor. I will still focus on improving my mindset as well. The light in me will always see the light in you. But for now, I’m just not into being Spiritual and neither is this blog.